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A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.Funny, I don’t remember being absent-mindedFunny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the tree.I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.Kids in the back seat cause accidents.Accidents in the back seat cause kids.It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.If I was meant to touch my toes, they would be. ”I didn’t understand what she meant. “No, honey, for the team. If we don’t get the physical, he can’t let you play.”She looked at me with a little frown that I recognized. Dagny used it whenever I wasn’t quite getting something. It didn’t happen often, but she knew that sometimes I was a little different. “No, Dad, I’m not playing this year. I need to concentrate on my grades if I want to get into Yale.”“But ... but you’re a volleyball player. You love volleyball. That’s what you do.”“Yeah, and I’ll still play, just not on the team. It’s okay, Dad.”Trying to reassure her, I smiled. It felt forced and must have looked that way. “All right, honey. Maybe ... maybe in college.” She didn’t look reassured. I wiped the sweat from my palms on my slacks, went back into my office and closed the door behind me. My heart was beating too rapidly, and I sat down, losing myself in numbers until Lilly came home with dinner.A few weeks went by and Lilly sat across from me after Dagny went to the mall.
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The one Friday night as Jim, John and I sat on their couch in Jim and John’s apartment, watching a movie, with me in my usual and customary seat between the two of them, John asked me again if I wanted to take a “shot.”I was in a pretty good mood, and even though I had sworn that I’d never drink, that night, I said, “Sure.”John looked surprised.“I’ll give it a try,” I replied. “But just one shot.”John quickly retreated to his bedroom and emerged with a bottle of tequila in a small brown bag. He plopped down the couch next to me and took out a shot glass and the liquor. Jim didn’t say a word.I watched as John poured the liquor into the shot glass. He handed it to me and said, “Bottoms up!”I sniffed the liquor. It did not smell appealing in the least bit to me.“You have to simply swallow the entire thing at once, “John instructed. “It tastes terrible.”John was right. It tasted terrible. He laughed as I shook my head back and forth, trying to figure out why anyone would like that crap.I.

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